The Next Chapter - The New Journey, Life After...

I am finally ready to address what every young widowed person thinks but is afraid to say out loud.  How many of us wonder will I be loved again?  Will I ever be able to love again?  I'm so lonely, but am embarrassed to say it out loud.  I am not always lonely and it doesn't mean I want someone in my bed holding me...or hit and quit it...or maybe you do.  We all had great marriages that were robbed from us.  OF COURSE we want to love someone again.  We still have all of this love and passion to give someone.  But what about my kids?  Will they hate me for bringing another person into their life?  What about my inlaws?  Will they be upset and feel I have forgotten their son/daughter?  Some people say, its too soon for you to have someone in your life.  I say, who says?  Please show me in this rule book of life where it says its too soon to allow someone to make you feel special?  Someone that takes care of you?...

There are no words for this past month.  How to describe how life keeps going and we just keep living it like nothing has changed.  Then reality likes to smack you in the face.  I had a dream that Tony was sitting on a parked bench with a little girl by his side.  He was shaking his impatient leg waiting for someone.  The next scene was peaceful.  My dear friend Branny was swimming gracefully under water.  Then she'd go to the top for air, and then back down in peace.  Tony said, Come on Branny, its going to be ok.  You'll still be with them, but I could use your help.  I assumed with this beautiful little girl he promised to look out for.  Our friends daughter.  The next morning I woke up and texted both my friend and Branny's husband about my dream.  I learned later that Branny went to be with Tony, Debbie, and the rest of our loved ones that same day.  It was as if a band aid had been ripped off my heart and all th...