Raising His Legacy
Summer is here!! That's always a happy time in our house. We are not winter people. We like the sunshine, BBQ, pool time. We enjoy family time, corn holes, basketball, and me, I enjoy summer nights under the sky just soaking it all in. The life that Tony and I worked so hard for. We had our family Memorial Day cook out. Nothing too big, just a small group of friends and family. The boys were swimming in the pool, the smell of food on the grill filled the back yard. The sound of laughter echoed. I too, was happy. I was smiling and telling jokes. Not a care in the world. Just how Tony would want it to be. It was nice. It was nice to be around family. It was nice to be around adults that had experienced the same type of pain as me, and were ALSO enjoying life.
I didn't have some magic epiphany or realization that I would be "ok." That life would go on. It was just nice. To have my brothers around me cutting up, to see them smiling. It really was all a beautiful site. It was exactly what Tony would want. Nothing would change. Family is family. WE will always be a family. It was my job to make sure we all stayed together!!
The other night I was talking to an old friend from high school. We caught up on life, work, family, loss of loved one. While we were texting back and forth I found myself encouraging that person to go LIVE. To enjoy life. If you want to say something to someone, say it. Or if you want to do something, go do it. That is something that I have truly learned through this journey. Not only do I encourage people to live life, but also to be productive.
My 19 year old has enlisted in the Army. I am very happy with his decision because I honestly think it is what is best for him right now. He has been very lost since Tony passed away. But I refuse to allow Tony's death to be insulted by poor decisions by any of the boys. They have been raised to know right and wrong. Courtesy and respect, obedience and manners. Tony and I believed in natural consequences for your actions. My 11 year old was acting out at school after Tony died. When the school said to me, I understand he lost his dad so we are going to cut him a break...I went off. NO ONE was going to allow my husbands LEGACY to be INSULTED by HIS children acting out due to grief. YES, they are angry, and hurt, and frustrated, and don't know how to manage it, but they know right and wrong. Pain is not an excuse not to get up on the morning. Anger does not give you the right to be mean to others. My boys were raised to work through these feelings with positive outlets...like sports, counseling, art, friendships, and words...and even a punching bag.
I have the honor of raising Tony Leonard's Legacy. I have the privilege of knowing exactly how Tony would do it. How Tony would say it, how Tony would handle it. It is my job now to raise and continue to raise our boys in the manner that Tony would raise them. I feel his pride and his disappointment. It is my responsibility to share that with the boys when appropriate.
When I set the standard with the boys a month or so after Tony died of what was acceptable and what wasn't, life then started to calm down. When I reminded them that, "Life is determined by the choices you make," and "You are who you associate with." Just like Tony always said, I truly believe a weight was lifted off our chests. Tony lead by example with strength. He always showed up...no matter what. Its my job now, to remind our boys that life keeps going whether you decide to show up for it our not. We are all still grieving and it hurts...but Tony wanted us all to LIVE and be successful and HONOR him by SHOWING UP. Making good decisions...and ALWAY putting your family first. I sit here with a smile on my face because Tony gave me such a blessing. He inspired me. He enlightened me to not sweat the small stuff. Thank you Tony, for giving me the privilege of raising and instilling your LEGACY in our boys!!!
I didn't have some magic epiphany or realization that I would be "ok." That life would go on. It was just nice. To have my brothers around me cutting up, to see them smiling. It really was all a beautiful site. It was exactly what Tony would want. Nothing would change. Family is family. WE will always be a family. It was my job to make sure we all stayed together!!
The other night I was talking to an old friend from high school. We caught up on life, work, family, loss of loved one. While we were texting back and forth I found myself encouraging that person to go LIVE. To enjoy life. If you want to say something to someone, say it. Or if you want to do something, go do it. That is something that I have truly learned through this journey. Not only do I encourage people to live life, but also to be productive.
My 19 year old has enlisted in the Army. I am very happy with his decision because I honestly think it is what is best for him right now. He has been very lost since Tony passed away. But I refuse to allow Tony's death to be insulted by poor decisions by any of the boys. They have been raised to know right and wrong. Courtesy and respect, obedience and manners. Tony and I believed in natural consequences for your actions. My 11 year old was acting out at school after Tony died. When the school said to me, I understand he lost his dad so we are going to cut him a break...I went off. NO ONE was going to allow my husbands LEGACY to be INSULTED by HIS children acting out due to grief. YES, they are angry, and hurt, and frustrated, and don't know how to manage it, but they know right and wrong. Pain is not an excuse not to get up on the morning. Anger does not give you the right to be mean to others. My boys were raised to work through these feelings with positive outlets...like sports, counseling, art, friendships, and words...and even a punching bag.
I have the honor of raising Tony Leonard's Legacy. I have the privilege of knowing exactly how Tony would do it. How Tony would say it, how Tony would handle it. It is my job now to raise and continue to raise our boys in the manner that Tony would raise them. I feel his pride and his disappointment. It is my responsibility to share that with the boys when appropriate.
When I set the standard with the boys a month or so after Tony died of what was acceptable and what wasn't, life then started to calm down. When I reminded them that, "Life is determined by the choices you make," and "You are who you associate with." Just like Tony always said, I truly believe a weight was lifted off our chests. Tony lead by example with strength. He always showed up...no matter what. Its my job now, to remind our boys that life keeps going whether you decide to show up for it our not. We are all still grieving and it hurts...but Tony wanted us all to LIVE and be successful and HONOR him by SHOWING UP. Making good decisions...and ALWAY putting your family first. I sit here with a smile on my face because Tony gave me such a blessing. He inspired me. He enlightened me to not sweat the small stuff. Thank you Tony, for giving me the privilege of raising and instilling your LEGACY in our boys!!!
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