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Showing posts from July, 2019

Being Numbe One

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6 Months ago we prepared to send you home...nope, we said good bye, I'll see you later.  I can't do this whole send you to heaven in a better place where you should be.  I mean...really, you should be here.  This is grief for you.  So why do I feel guilty for finally having a breath of fresh air?  I can laugh, I can smile, I can do things for me again.  I figured out what it was...I was more worried about what others would think about me starting a new chapter in my life for me, rather than just enjoying it. After I got through my first birthday without him, I made a choice to start doing things for me.  I was tired of being sad all the time, tired of crying, tired of being stressed...over what?  Something that I had absolutely NO POWER over.  Powerlessness is a bitch.  Certain friends reminding me to surrender and turn my life over to God.  He's got a plan, and I need to trust it.  I have to be my own number one.  Its o...